I thought watching someone I loved slowly die would be the hardest thing I'd ever have to do. Watching a child suffer while we wait for science and research to uncover clues to a 20 yr chronic illness beats death ..hands down. Death is easy..living is hard.
This of course brings me back to why I smile and nod when visitors engage themselves with my artwork..and then tell me "you must be having so much fun.."yeah..loads I want to say ..look closer I want to mention..but instead I know that I cannot divulge all that is not apparent.
A female abstract painter whose work I admired once told me that her intricate shapes and marks represented a child lost to addiction that she had not heard from in many years..but raised her granddaughter as her own ..the paintings were her rescue maps ..to help guide her daughter home..a dream of doors and streets with signposts painted and exhibited so that the artist could feel she is still connected.. still hoping her daughter might find her way back.
So yes.. I can make colorful skies and subdued smiles that are light and easy on the eye and heart ..but like most good artists there are signposts and hidden maps of my life amongst the lines and paint.